An excerpt from “Party of One: Truth, Longing, and the Subtle Art of Singleness.”
I don’t know if you feel this way, but one of my largest struggles is that now it seems people are only as valuable as they are marriageable. Some days it feels like once a guy knows you’re not wife material, he decides you’re not worth knowing at all.
It’s hard enough when it feels as if this whole dating scene is a crazy, drawn-out game of musical chairs. In the beginning, when you’re 16 and carefree and only a little boy crazy, the game is still fun. But year after year, round after round, that music still plays and you see your friends scrambling a little faster to ensure they have a seat. You start to realize there are fewer and fewer chairs, and yet so many people. Suddenly your best friend since second grade elbows you in the ribs to get a seat as the music screeches to a halt. And with all that anxiety and pressure and sweating, the game’s not as much fun as it used to be.
Dating is really exhausting. And when you have those days (and nights) where the difficulty catches up to you and you’d rather bury your head under a pillow, lounge in your leggings, and cancel on your latest blind date, know that you can join me for a Golden Girls marathon anytime. As long as you bring takeout.
The Only One We Were Made For
I wonder if all this floundering is due to the fact that there’s so much pressure to choose the right person. You have to feel that too, right? You have to search high and low to find that person who’s a good fit for your strengths and weaknesses. That person whose life plan lines up with yours. That person who is patient enough and kind enough and spiritual enough. That person you’ve stopped calling the One but still secretly long to believe in.
Now, I …Continue reading…